sorry but i can't stay here [ONE SHOT]

[LT CMDR TOSHIRO NITOKO]

Tick....tick....tick....tick Looking at the clock Toshiro felt worry and dread begin to fill him. It wouldn't be long nowtill his father finished his meeting and was able to see him and although he had been calm earlier, the closer it came the more worried he began to feel. Usually his father's office was alot louder then this but an eerie silence had somehow taken ahold of it and now all he could hear was the ticking of the clock as it counted down to what Toshiro knew would be a rather unpleasent experience. But no matter what happened or what his father said he knew that this was the right decision; he was grateful for what he had been taught and the oppurtunity that had been given to him but he had his own dreams and desires, and these no longer complied with the job his father had given him. Toshiro had always aimed to make his father proud, it was what every son wanted and he had worked hard in order to achieve that; and although he knew he could never have the oppurtunities in the company that his brothers had, he had still worked hard just to make his father happy. But now it was his turn, he knew he couldn't spend his life just trying to please his father, if he did he'd just turn into some empty shell and live his life regretting his decisions and he didn't want to be that person. He wanted his father to be proud of him for making his own way in life and not depending on him for everything.

He had already spoken with his mother and she was fine with it, of course she was saddened by his decision as it would mean they wouldn't get to see each other as often as they could if he stayed but she understood what he wanted to do and was very supportive. He had considered using this fact in case an argument arose but he didn't want to get his mother in trouble, nor did he want to make it appear like he couldn't stand up to his father. His father wasn't a cruel person but he was a very proud and stern person and didn't like to be challenged, nor would he like the idea of his son 'rejecting' his offer to go to America. It would be quite a blow to his father but he knew that it had to be done; he wanted to join the Starfleet Academy and do something more practical with his life rather then sitting in an office and he knew the thought of leaving the country would be hard for his father, so it was only natural for Toshiro to feel a little worried. It was a little ironic really, some of the hardware that their company sold went towards the U.S.S Starfleet ships and his father was very proud of his contribution but Toshiro knew his father well enough to know that it was one thing to have a piece of equipment in Starfleet, and another to have your son a part of it. But even if his father did accept that Toshiro had enrolled into the academy he certainly wouldn't be happy when he found out what courses he would be doing.

You'de have thought that someone like Toshiro who had been trained from almost day one in robotics, computing and engineering would enroll in such courses within the Enterprise so that he could become an engineer? But thats not what Toshiro wanted at all, he had enrolled in Tactical courses so that he could train to be a security officer within Starfleet and help keep his future ship in order whilst helping protect and defend the ship. His father had never been too happy with his interesst in martial arts and had just about accepted his interessts in Kendo and Taijitsu, but once he heard what Toshiro was planning he was sure to blow a fuse and tell him how dissapointed he was. But Toshiro was a little bored of engineering, he wanted to do something different and something a bit more practical where he could really make a difference. He did believe that engineers played a key role in Starfleet but it just wasn;t what he wanted and he just hoped his father would have it in him somewhere to understand that and someday accept it.

As the clock struck five Toshiro looked through the window in his father's office to where the board room was, his father was very punctual and didn't like to run over time and as he had assumed various buisnessmen began to pour out of the room. Some of them were from partner companies but the majority of the men in suits were from his family's company Keisanki!. He watched as his father shook hands with his elder brother and then the CEO of one of the partner companies before turning and walking towards him. As the second hand ticked away in the background he felt his legs push him out of the seat and he bowed respectfully to his father as he entered the room. "Konnichi-wa otoosan" His father nodded in acknowledgment and they both took their seats. "Gomen nasai otoosan" He began hoping the apology may work in his favour. "Watashi-wa ikimasu amerika gasshuukoku" His father's face was as stern as ever and Toshiro felt a lump form in his throat... what was his father thinking? "Moo gaman dekimasen, moo gaman dekinai " His father took it upon himself to give Toshiro a cold stare and Toshiro had to avert his eyes from his father's gaze. "Why?" His father was testing his English... no doubt to try and put Toshiro off of the thought, he'd only just started learning and found it difficult. "I want own life." Toshiro began trying his best to concentrate on his words so that his father couldn't catch him out. "Work here is not fun. I want to do stuff with hands." He looked at his father now, his own cold stare reflecting his father's as they both fought to protect their pride. " None future for me here. I enlist at Starfleet academy, next month I go"

His father tutted to himself a a hot flush swept over Toshiro, how could his father be so stubborn? "Next month? How on earth can you survive out there when you can't even hold a basic conversation?!" Toshiro tried to protest but his father raised a hand to stop him; interrupting his father wouldn't help his case so he kept his mouth shut for the time being. "You are young and foolish Toshiro and this act of recklessness will not go unpunished, now get these foolish thoughts out of your head and be happy with the oppurtunity I am giving you." So he was to work here for the rest of his life? He hadn't even accepted the permanet position here and already his father was assuming he would do so. Well that was about to change. "Ie!" Toshiro snapped standing up. "I not accept work here, I want own life and I will go to Starfleet." His father seemed shocked by his outburst but Toshiro didn't stop, maybe this was what had to happen to get his father to understand. "I want to help people and cannot here, Starfleet is where I want be and i go." He'd never shouted at his father before, he hadn't even raised his voice and to suddenly be standing over his father was an odd feeling. It was considered rude to speak back to your elders and Toshiro had always been polite and respectful so it was probably a good thing that this was a private meeting. "I am happy with offer but not for me. I will learn English much better and do good." Even if he had to struggle he would do it, he wouldn't be held back by such a minute thing. "Starfleet is good place with respectable people, I go you cannot stop."

"You're still just a child Toshiro and you need to grow up! There is nothing out there for you at all, only failure and humiliation! Do you want to tarnish our family name?!" Toshiro was shocked that his father would turn that on him, he would never dream of harming the reputation of the family and yet his father thought it would, who cared if he went to Starfleet anyway? Why was it so bad that he didn't want to be another sheep? "What would you even do there hmm? Become an engineer and do the same stuff you do here?" It was time to rip of the plaster, he wouldn't lie to his father; he'd save him from that aweful blow. "No, i am to go for security." He could almost see his father's head explode, he was clearly unhappy with this and he had known it would happen. His father had worked hard throughout the years to mold him into one and thing and now he was 'throwing' it back in his father's face to do his own thing, it was understandable that his father was upset. "You shall not stop me, I already enlisted, nothing you can do. You cannot support Starfleet and not me, we will be the same." That seemed to work, his father was a logical and intellegent man and he knew what Toshiro was implying, to go against his son's decision was to dissprove of Starfleet, and a buisness man never turned away buisness, but his father was still angry and Toshiro had a feeling that this was far from over. "Get out of my office now! We will discuss this later with your mother." Deciding it would be best to follow his father's order he bowed and turned out of the office wondering what on earth he would do if his father stopped him from going.

[OOC: Translation: Good afternoon father, i'm sorry father but i am going to america. I can't stand it anymore]

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[LT CMDR TOSHIRO NITOKO]

[ooc: just imagine this is all in Japanese, cba to translate]

The night came quicker then Toshiro had wanted and he soon found himself surrounded by his family in the formal lounge. His father and mother had obviously been talking already about the situation because he could see his mother's eyes were slightly red and swollen from the tears she must have cried as she tried to defend his wishes whilst coming to terms with 'loosing' her son. Usually men stayed with their parents to look after them in their old age and Toshiro and his mother were very close so of course she was upset with the idea of him leaving, His brother's however were just like his father and had a look of sterness in their expressions. Toshiro didn't know if they'd been informed of the siatuation but he'd be surprised if they weren't.

"Toshiro.... it seems you have already spoke to your mother behind my back about this little made idea you've come up with." What a possitive way to start off the discussion, how like his father to make it seem like the matter was closed already. "You are a predictapble man father, I knew you'de dissaprove so I thought it only fair to speak to my mother about my plans." He was tired of his father's attitude and although being rude wasn't going to help he was feeling frustrated with how closed minded his father was being about the situation. "I have two parents father, I don't always have to come to you about my decissions. Mother has much more of an open mind and I knew she'd be easier to talk to then some stubborn old man!" He knew what was coming and he soon felt his cheek sting as his father struck him across the face. He'd deserved it but it had felt good to get his anger off of his chest. His brother's hadn't flinched at all but his mother had a look of shock on her face, and not just because he had been struck. Toshiro had always been the polite boy, the one who did what he was told and never asked questions, so it had probably been a surprise to hear him talk like that. "You will do well to respect your father boy if you want me to even consider this foolhearty idea of yours!"

His father still saw this as a foolish idea and Toshiro had had enough, why was it so hard for his father to be happy for him and accept that he wanted his own life? His mother had been able to accept it so why couldn't he? "You are being unfair father, you cannot expect me to be some small insiginificant office worker for the buisness. I have my own plans for my life and I want you to be happy for me." His face still stung but he resisted the urge to rub it, he would be strong and show his father that he wasn't a child and tht he couldn't be so easily put off. "I appreciate all you have done for me but I can't lie and say that I want to live this life forever, I want to join Starfleet and make a difference in the world and explore whats out there beyond Earth." His father must have felt something like this before, a need to do what he wanted and not follow other people's decisions so surely he could find it in his heart to allow Toshiro to go. "Why are you being such a child? You want to explore?! Those are a childs dreams, in the real world we take what we are given and offered and make it into something good. Everyone in our company is a valued and important member and you would be no different. Just think of what our rivals and partners will think when they hear that a Nitoko has gone to Starfleet! Grow up, accept this and cease this foolish and reckless behaviour."

He understood what his father was saying, he had worked hard to earn a good reputation for their family name and had created a successful buisness that had made them very rich, famous and powerful. It was expected for him to join to company like a good son and help it out, to stray away from that could put pressure on his father's image and make it seem like he wasn't able to 'control' his son. But despite all of that Toshiro didn't care, he didn't want to ruin the family name but he also didn't want to be miserable for the rest of his life and if happiness meant that he was a child and was ruining his father then so be it. "I am not a child, nor do I intend to purposly ruin what you have worked hard to build. But I am my own man father and you cannot deter me from this decision. I have thought long and hard about this and I do not consider my decision to be foolish or childish. Exploration is not a child's game, it will be dangerous but also fun and I really believe I can do this." Pausing he decided to try a different approach, one that he hoped would make it easier for his father to let him go. "Think of what I might find out there which I can bring back to use for the company. There may be more advanced technology out there and if I bring it back we can use it to further our company and make more buisness for ourselves."

The room was quiet for a moment and Toshiro knew it was because his father was considering what Toshiro had put across. He was surprised that his brothers were staying silent and began to wonder what they were even doing here. Perhaps they were here for entertainment reason or maybe they just didn't know what to say or were learning some good buisness sense. Either way he would rather have them gone so he could speak to his parents in private then them being here to watch and have more reasons to look down on him. "Son." Now his mother was speaking and his heart ached, he didn't want to hurt her by leaving and he could hear in her trembling voice that she felt the same way. "Why not wait a year? Learn to speak the language and if you still feel the same way then you can go." It was a reasonable request and although he was eager to go to the academy as soon as possible and had already applied, he was sure it be easy to defere a year. "Yes and perhaps then you will have come to your senses." He was going to say something but his mother jumped in to defend him saying how it was Toshiro's choice and that he didn't have to be so harsh. The two were soon bickering and Toshiro decided to deal with his brothers. "What do you think?" He didn't care who answered, he just wanted them to say something rather then sitting there and staring at him. "I think it's selfish of you to act like this, can't you see what it is doing to the family?" Looking back at his bickering parents he let out a sigh, it seemed no matter what he did someone would end up upset and hurt. Finally his parents stopped and he looked at his father to see what he had to say. "You've made some interessting points and your mother feels I should allow you to go. However do not think I aprove of this. We will indeed wait a year and if you feel the same way...you can go"

Finally his father had actualy listened to him and now Toshiro could finally make his own way in life. Sure.. it'd take a year before he could actually leave but at least now he could go, his father clearly hoped that Toshiro would drop this idea but he had no intention of doing so. He would go to Starfleet and he would become a security officer and no mater what his father thought that was what was going to happen. One way or another

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